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Diary entry number Twenty Continued
YOU WANT MORE BITCHES! Bitches: No, Tough luck mes amis, here is part two of Revenge of Zombie Ken. Inject the morphien, squirm and enjoy! ------------------------------------------Act 2 Scene 1 Shaloin temple (Liam and Darron posing.) Darron: Wait, do you sense that?! Liam: No, master, what is it?! Darron: Z-z-z-z-z-zombies! (The Ninja zombies emerge from all around them. Ken walks through them and points at Liam. Ken cracks his knuckles.) Darron: Liam! Get out of here! Liam: Master no! I will never leave your side, we fight together. Darron: Yeah, about that.... Liam: What? Darron: Yeah, I'm kinda, not that good at fighting and stuff. Liam: What!!! Darron: Yeah, yeah, sorry about that. Little late. Well maybe it isn't, how long does it take to get good at kung fu? Liam: A little longer than we have now. Darron: Okay, I'll use the secret techniques of Dim mak. The REAL secret ones. You, make a break for it. Okay? (Liam's already gone.) Darron: You bastard, you said that you were staying! Liam: That was before you turned out to be a lying bastard! Darron: Fine you go then you stupid bastard! (Liam goes.) (Darron fights against the ninja zombies. using techniques that he shouts the names of when he does them. These include 'super magistic kick of loneliness', 'complete ultimate winding side snake palm.' 'aesthetically pleasing vortex duck.' and many, many more. In time though the ninja zombies rip him apart limb from limb in hilariously violent fashion.) Scene two Amazing five headquarters Carlos: Hey this flashing light is flashing! Ashley: It means that we're getting a voice message from Liam! (Presses button) Liam VO: Hey Ashley, bad news. I don't know how it's happened, but Ken, he's back in zombie form! I think that he's after us for letting him get killed. I don't know, but I think this might have something to do with Masa being alive. I'm making my way back to England now. I'm on the plane to England now, it might take me a couple of days to get there. Look, I've studied necromancy before, and the secret to defeating these zombies is--- ---no wait, sorry, they're playing rush hour 2. -Ah man, I love that movie. -Well, they'll probably repeat it. -Well, I have seen it already on this flight -And I DO have it on DVD at home. -And I AM sitting next to both Jackie Chan AND Chris Tucker, they could probably act out some of the movie for me afterwards. -Nah sorry, I'll talk about it when I get home. Bye. Cool, Rush hour! Ashley: Fuck-shit! the message ends there! Jack: What are we going to do? Ashley: Oh, shut up Jack, it's not the time! We have to sit here on our ASSES and wait for the bastard! Carlos: We could play a board game! (Carlos gets out the board game Splat out of his bag and puts it on the table.) Mickey: You're wasting a lot of space in your bag by carrying that game about. We gave you that for weapons and stuff. Carlos: Hey, I like that game! (Mickey grabs the bag off of him.) Mickey: Give me that! (Mickey spills out four more boxes of 'Splat' onto the table.) (Silence.) (Carlos gets up and runs off crying abruptly.) Mickey: Carlos! Wait! Ashley: Just shut up. We're going to sit here and wait alright! Jack tell us a joke! Jack: Sorry boss, I'm all out Ashley: Nah, that was shit. Carlos (In next room.): I'll show those assholes, yeah, I'll show 'em all. I'll show em all. I bet those stupid bastards are in there right now playing monopoly or something ridiculous. I wish they were dead! Carlos 2 (Other camera angle.) Then kill them Carlos 1: I mustn't, they're my friends! Carlos 2: Nah go on, kill em Carlos 1: Hmmm Carlos 2: We can play splat afterwards! Carlos 1: I must kill them! (Sound of door opening. Light beams onto Carlos's face. Carlos smiles nervously.) Carlos: You? You're...? Mystery voice (Krishnan): Come with me my friend. (The figure reaches his hand to Carlos who take it and the two run off.) Scene with zombie Ken and the ninja zombies doing a form in the graveyard. Mystery voice: Here, join your new brethren (Zombie ninja's sniff around Carlos as if they were about to eat him.) Ken: No! We must keep this one! He may be very useful to us indeed. (Spontaneous laughing.) Text: Two days later Ashely VO: Liam returned, but nobody was ready for what he had to say. Liam: Sit down. You ready for this? Guys: Yeah/yep/I think so Liam: Okay, I was attacked, by, wait for it.... Zombies! (Guys all fall back on chairs or scream etc etc.) Mickey: Zombies, I HATE zombies. Carlos (Walking in.): Hey guys! Other guy (Forgot his name.) : Where have you been? Carlos: Nothing, nothing, just learning about zombies. (Snigger.) Ashely: Well sit down, we've got to work out this plan of how we're going to take out Masa once and for all. Liam: Masa, but Ken is the problem! Ashley: You're loosing it Liam, one target at a time. Liam: I'm loosing it?! You're the one hiding in a garage with some stupid teenagers playing superhero! Ashley: Well you let your master die you failure! Liam (Standing up and shouting down at Ashley.): You're the one who let Ken die! Ashley (Standing up and shout back.): You're not man enough to SATISFY ME! (Awkward silence, shot of the guys reaction. Liam and Ashley sit back down briskly.) Liam (Composed.): I'm just saying that Ken is our problem now. We have to take him out, Masa isn't our concern now! Ashley (Face filled with shadow. Music box tune starting up.): But I can't kill Ken..... Ken and Ashley montage (Ash teaching Ken how to ride a bike and both laughing and rolling around in the grass.) Ashley: Promise it'll be like this forever! Ken: It'll be like this forever, forever, forever. (As Ash is snapping out of it more images flash up like the two lying in a double bed with cigarettes and the two drinking wine together at a candlelit dinner table.) Liam: Ashley! Ken VO: Forever... Liam: Ashley! (Ashley snaps out of it.) Ashley: Sorry, I was somewhere else.... Liam: That's it, I'm taking your badge, you're a risk to the team, a risk to me.... ...a risk to yourself. Ashley (Angry.): You don't know me! None of you know me! None of you! (Knocks over table! and runs off.) (Long silence.) (Carlos stealthily puts 'splat' on the table and draws attention to it, in silent suggestion that the guys play it with him.) Scene: Zombie HQ Masa bowing on man in throne. Masa: Master, Smashley Chan has came for me, I fear that they may be onto our operations. Mysterious voice: I know Masa, you have done well to escape and tell me. Masa: What should I do know? Mysterious voice: Now? We wait. They will come to us. But we will be ready for them (Camera turns to Krishnan showing his face fully. He is zombie-fied. He laughs pointlessly, he is stroking a purring Carlos's head.)
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