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Diary entry number Twelve (leaving the Northern China Shaolin)

I miss quite a lot of things. I didn't really until my mother suggested that
she sent me a package, and I began to think of all of the things I would
like in it.

I miss fruit and fibre more than anything. Not the Kellogg's stuff, that's
disgusting, but the Safeway's / Morrison's own-brand.

But cereal in general is no good here. really. Chinese breakfasts are
different. Here we just have bread and rice, because the academy hates
spending money on us, but a friend of mine says that Chinese breakfasts are
normally very good.

A lot of people ask me about the academy, because they are considering
going to it, or they have relatives that are. When I was making my mind up
about it there was very little information about it, so in coming here I was
taking a huge risk. And seeing as there was no information on it, I decided
to give some.

But now I'm leaving the academy, after two months when I had planned for a
year here. That should probably speak for itself.

I should tell you why. We've all spent a lot of money to be here. It is
never obvious where this money goes. Well, actually it is, but it has
nothing to do with us. I mean simply that it is never spent on our well
being, our comfort. It is spent on things that they could take pictures of
and could be put on their website.

CURSE THAT WEBSITE

The Chinese students pay $800 a year to be here, we pay about $4600. They
get trained longer, they get trained harder. They are treated like serious
martial artists. Their food looks better than ours. Occasionally we wait
until they are all gone and we steal some of the remaining food from them
because of how bad ours is.
Our classes are just for westerners, I could have therefore stayed in the
west for them. We are not taken seriously as martial artists. It is
completely separate training, ours and theirs, not one of us came for
specially devised training for foreigners, we came for the same training as
the Chinese. We don't want to be given an easy ride.

Although the Shifus/instructors are in fact very impressive. Very
impressive. Very friendly and good at teaching. They are quite possibly the
best that I can imagine. None of them speak successful English like the
website says. Not one of them. There are translators, but they're not
particularly good. Sometimes it is much better for the students who speak a
little Chinese to work out what the Shifus are saying on their own.

Apparently the 'Ancient Castle' next to the academy is only 12 years old. It
was made for a film, and is still used in recent films as a set. They are
still building on it. I imagine that it will mutate completely in a couple
of months.

Note one thing. The academy makes you pay about $300 dollars for entry. Then
$570 for each month, but the minimum that you can stay (Or at least pay for
and leave.) is two months. They also offer an escort from the airport for
$100, when actually you can get a taxi for only $10. People feel that the
escort is necessary, but it really means nothing.
So already, by entering the academy you're in debt for about $1440, even if
you leave the next day. I'm leaving after two months to make the most of it,
but if I somehow stay for one day more I'll owe another $570.

That's why I'm leaving this academy. And also all of the staff left a while
ago because they couldn't stand it. And they get PAID to be here. I don't.
Quite the opposite.

But, I'm not leaving China, and I'm not stopping training. I'm just going to
another academy. Which should be a lot cheaper. (Hopefully) I'm not 100%
trusting of these places anymore. We shall see.

Anyway, the academy isn't THAT bad. I whine a little. But it should be
known. I hate being taken for a ride. And boy howdy, this is a freaking
derby.

Here's a quick list of details you might like to know, I'm not whining, I
just get asked a lot of questions by people over email, I thought this might
help.

Beds: Chipboard
Pillows: Were white, now brown
Toilets: No privacy, cubicles reach about waist height. ARE western design
though.
Rooms: Nothing like the picture in the site, believe me.
People: Very nice, I love them all
Structure: Evil, evil bastards.
Showers: All broken in some way, only on for two hours a day so often
overcrowded. Door in changing room never shuts properly.
Food: I hate it. I really, really hate it. And if you arrive for dinner two
minutes late, there is no food for you.
Training: Alright. Could be a lot better.
Translators: Nice people, can't speak English too well though.
Bugs: Giant, plentiful, everywhere.
Other guys at academy: Nice guys, as stupid as you though.

If you want to come, come. It really isn't that bad. I could tolerate if I
had no other choice, but I do. I'm learning elsewhere. Might travel for a
week or two. But if you do come, you WILL feel like an idiot, I did.
Everyone does. But once you've adjusted and made friends, bought some good
food, it's really quite enjoyable.

EMAIL ME YOU BASTARDS.

-Liam
 

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