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Diary entry forty eight
 
We watch a lot of movies here, and it seems that because life here is so
amazingly dull and repetitive the only thing that I can actually think about
at all is movies. There used to be so much more to do and to think about.
 
We don't even talk about good movies, it's always just about how bad they
are. We often start a movie and then begin slagging it off all of the way
through, beginning to end. I don't think that I'll ever see a good movie
again, then again I never liked them anyway.
 
Yeah, all movies are awful.
 
Just as I've gotten over the last illness, I've gone and got a cold. Which
makes things even more BORING. I feel like lashing out but I'm weak and
pathetic right now, any sudden movements may results in strings of snot
flailing from my nostrils into everything around me.
 
We have Half-life 2 though. A beacon of hope.
 
Another beacon of hope are my plane tickets home, which I will never let go
of. They're been clenched in my hand for a little over a week now. When I
was having the problems with dizziness and stuff I so nearly came home, that
being here now seems weird. Like I shouldn't really be here.
 
I made up my mind so clearly that I would go home, I told myself that there was no more
learning and at the very moment that was as good as I was going to be when I
saw everyone again.
 
Plus the barrage of people making amazing plans to see
me and all of the great things that we were going to do when I got back - a
lot of it was people being sympathetic with me because they knew how much I
wanted to just stay here and train.
 
But now I feel bad because I'm here, when I could be at home doing all those
cool things. Nice work YOU BASTARDS.
 
I've started doing a Nan Dao form using a Katana. I'm not any good at it, I
can't get the crazy stances, its one that I've never got good at.
What else?
 
Err
 
The academy brought in this old circuit training machine, which is pretty
cool. It's kind of a scary experience though, all of the pieces look like
they could suddenly spring off and plant themselves in your face.
Same ol', same ol'. SIGH
 
SIGH
 

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