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Diary entry forty five
 
hey guy!
sup
 
I still feel bad. Yep bad. As in not good. AS IN BAD.
I'm contemplating going home. I can't just sit at a computer and not see
stars, let alone train.
 
Fact is this, if I go to a hospital it'll take about two weeks to get any
feedback from tests etc etc. I don't know if I can be bothered to wait that
long - and pay for it.
 
If I do come back, I'll come back next year sometime as I was planning
anyway- so really there's nothing to feel too guilty about. It's just all of
my plans for coming back would have been ruined, and I won't have got half
of the things done from coming to China that I wanted. It all seems a little
abrupt.
 
I tried training, and it went really bad. Just at the warm-up I was having a
feeling that I shouldn't be doing anything. But I did the lesson anyway,
only to feel worsened afterwards. I was seeing my normal shower of stars, as
well as black/red blotches that just seemed to melt my vision.
I know, this probably isn't serious, but it's sure as hell distracting. It's
enfeebling. I'm just sitting here doing nothing, and hating it.
AGGGHH!!
 
Since I started writing this I've seen stars three times. Come to think of
it that's pretty bad.
 
We're going to Yantai hospital tomorrow, disappointed with the doctors
that we visited in Mu Ping. It's a stressful situation to be in, even in
England I'd never feel that I was getting my point across of what I was
feeling, and more often then not doctors would just give me painkillers or
some random drug - But now I'm in a country where nobody speaks the same
language as me, and if they do they don't have the same fluid understanding
of my words that they would of at home.
 
My plan is to go to the hospital and if what they're suggesting to cure me
will take more than 2 weeks, I'll just say 'screw it' and go home. If they
could help me out one the spot (Which I doubt) then I'll stick around.
 
Meh.
 
Oh yeah, I had a go at writing a Hykoo (Is that how you spell it, I have no
idea.) Japanese poem, whatever - here it is.
 
Captain Ca-a-a
a-a-a-a-a-a-a
a-a-a-vema!
 
Wicked.
 

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