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Diary entry forty three
 
MARCH NINTH
My head hasn't been too good recently. That sounds insane, I don't mean it
like that. I mean in a physical sense. I just feel really dizzy pretty much
all of the time, and very tired all of the time. It feels like if I could go
to sleep for a couple of days it might go away, but the fact is that I can't
do that.
 
Ok, just now I for some reason screwed my eyes up tightly and ran my hand
through my hair again. That's what it's like. It's like trying to stay up as
long as you can, but for no good reason.
 
A few years ago I'd have a lot of trouble sleeping, occasionally, on and
off. It feels like the feeling off going to school after a day of not
sleeping and feeling alright afterwards. Just getting on with things.
I keep seeing stars too. So much so that it looks like my vision is melting
and behind it is just silver.
 
And a droning sound.
 
Anyway, I sound like a hyper-chondriac about now so I'll write about
something a but more cheerful.
 
DEATH- It happens to all of us!
Hmm, that didn't work. Not at all.
 
I'm actually becoming quite muscular, if I say so myself (Which I just did.)
Which is weird because as per normal I don't feel like I'm putting any
effort into any of this at all. It's more like me just being here is good
enough. But at the same time people say that I'm over training a little.
 
HA! They don't know the half of it!
 
We're having a mantis instructor come to the school as of this Friday. I
think. We always say things like that, nothing ever happens, I go to sleep
and forget about it. The guys that left this academy now study mantis style
in town. It looks pretty cool, but I don't see too much difference between
it to doing Shaolin.
 
All styles look the same to me. I'm not trying to sound like Bruce Lee, I'm
saying that I'm actually a moron that doesn't know any better, or care.
Really, who does? If you're in a place like this you can train to be as good
at anything as you like, personal preference still reigns supreme.
 
And Idlewild's new album was released a couple of days ago - AND I DON'T
HAVE IT BECAUSE I'M IN CHINA. I've had to listen to the one minute previews
on their website again and again. God damn. I knew this was going to be
hard, but nobody told me this would happen.
 
WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME GOD!!!
 
 

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