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Diary entry thirty-seven
 
Man I like fried chicken.

I've had quite a lot of rest recently, being ill. Then again I rest stupidly
large amount of time anyway. Really, I never thought that I'd spend so much
time in bed as I do.

Then again it beats 13 hours of sleep that I used to have every day in Dong
Er.

I'm waking up at 5, and sometimes 4am. This is just to talk to people in
England on MSN, but I'm ready to lie and declare that it's because I'm a
crazy and beautiful individual that has sleeping problems. Man, I'm so
poetic and tragic. Feel sorry for me.

I'm getting homesick, as in I'm sick of home and I don't want to go back.

That's a joke for my family, I can't wait to get back. I'm planning so many
cool things, all of which seem absolutely possible, which is odd because
normally my planning involves fighting off ninjas and flying. Which I can
do, it just hurts so I don't want to.

Basically my number one amazingly happy-making plan is to have a barbeque
where we hire out a bouncy castle, just like we did before I left. Everyone
will get drunk and play Halo 2 (Which I am yet to play.) and generally talk
about how amazing I am. After several hours of talking about how great I am
all of the guys and ugly girls will go home and it'll just be me and the
good looking ones.

"Oh Liam, you're so muscley!" Says girl one
"Wow! Feel those abs!" Says girl two
Girls three through eighteen sit in relative silence, tickling each other in
order to arouse my interest.

...

I digress, but I LOVE IT.

Actually I know what'll happen. Everyone will have grown up enormously by
the time I last saw them, flat out refuse to have fun on the bouncy castle
and forget why they were ever my friends in the first place. My ego will
become even more inflated by the fact that people actually want me to show
them what I can do. Any girls that do come will be my younger sisters
strictly unattractive and young friends, and my young and strictly
unattractive sister herself.

Ooh, I'm such a bitch!
 

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