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Diary entry thirty-five
 
I stand by the fact that I'm not going to say when I'm getting back to the
UK. Why? Because I'm whiny and I like attention. Why else?
 
As per normal I'm feeling a little depressed. Not abstractly, just my
regular sulking habits which really aren't to be concerned over.
Yesterday was the unhealthiest day of my life, I ate this:
 
-Breakfast McDonalds Big Mac 2 + 2 apple pies and Vanilla milkshake -3 donuts in the space of about 5 minutes -a meal (with desert) at pizza hut -an omelette -A chocolate cake -loads of galaxy chocolate -2/3's of a box of frosted cereal.
 
Now I feel bad. I slept for most of today and listened to radiohead as I
scrolled about the internet pointlessly. I found out nothing of any interest
at all, but I did look at many, many pictures of Winona Ryder.
 
I CAN'T DO THIS!!!!!!! AHHHHH! I'M JUST GOING TO LET EVERYONE DOWN!!!
 
Actually the truth is that I probably won't let everyone down, because they
don't know what I could be potentially, they'll just be happy with whatever
I come back as, this place is too easy on me. I can't be trusted to do
things by myself, I'm not like that, I need somebody to kick me out of bed
and tell me to do push-ups.
 
I've accomplished everything that I wanted out of this already, I have no
more goals. Recently I found a list of my goals, all of them are done now.
I wonder constantly if the time I have left is enough, and I don't really
want to answer that. I don't have a clue of what to do. All of the little
things that I could work on in my spare time like finger strength, is just a
gimmick, I don't care enough about it to train it hard.
 
Ok, here are my new goals, which I'm sharing because so far I haven't had a
single productive thought all day, and this will fool me into thinking that
I have.
 
By the time I come home I want to be able to:
-Do 1000 consecutive pushups.
-Do every jump and breakfall that would normally be done on soft mats on a
regular concrete floor
-Be able to do new jumps that right now I can't do at all.
-Be able to do forms so they don't look so LAME.
-Have every major muscle above average size and a solid routine that will
never be broken because it's DRILLED INTO MY BRAIN
How am I going to do that? Meh. Little changes, this is what I've been
working on. This isn't all that I do, this is just additions because I've
recently lost my mind:
-Running for 20 solid minutes every day, after lunch before afternoon
training
-In warm up runs, must always carry bricks in hands.
-every morning wake up at 5am, train until breakfast without any second
thought or whining.
-2 handstands against the wall for three minutes a piece (Mon,wed, fri.) -weight training (Mon, wed, fri.) -Front side leg stretching and raising as soon as I wake up and right before
I go to bed.
-working on the bag, kicks and punches, (tues, thurs, sat,) -chin ups, both kinds, frog kicks and all that crazy crap that you can only
do outside in the cold hanging from a tree, every day
 
Apparently, Winter is over. but apparently it's getting colder. My window is
frozen over every morning, I always draw pictures in it by scraping the ice
of with my fingers. A lot of the training suggested above just can't be done
because of the amazing cold now. Especially running with bricks in your
hands, the fingers will freeze off. Damn cold. I know I'm just using it as
an excuse, but it's cold. I expect things to get a lot easier when it's warm
again.
 
As you may have noticed the lists above don't correspond at all, meaning
that my goals have NOWT to do with the changes in my training habits. Way I
see it, I'm doing everything I can for those,
 
AND WAIT!
 
I know the arrogant amongst you will say something stupid like 'There is no
maximum that you can do for them, just train longer and harder!' I know you
will! I'd have said it if I read somebody else saying it. BUT. I get bored,
really. I'd rather train little bits of things then train huge chunks of
them. Simply, you get hurt, you get bored, you stop caring. The only way to
consistently train is to go at a nice pace that you're conformable with,
otherwise you'll stop completely (Or at least I would.)
 
Like everyone likes training jumps (gymnastics, whatever) but we always hurt
like hell the day afterwards and have no energy. If we did anymore than we
do we'd never have that much enthusiasm for them, we'd just slow down. And
maybe die, I don't know, I haven't researched it.
 
I'd better have a girlfriend after the first week that I'm back in England.
No, make that day in England. Jesus, it's been too long. Actually about
eighteen years come to think of it. Hmmmm. I think that it'll be a lot
easier just to talk to people in general if I could do a backlfip or
something, then people would be more interested. Then again I already have
the scar. how interesting does a person have to be?
 
4AM!!!! RAGH FEEL THE RATH OF MY FALSE INTERNET NAME!!!
 
 

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